Applying creative solutions to practical problems
I apply a time-limited DBT approach to short term couples work. Generally, sessions are 90 minutes long, and we will meet in blocks of four sessions spread out across two or three months, keeping our eye on the goal of each block, and whether another set of sessions might be needed.
Practice homework out of session is a large part of my work with couples--you can plan to put what you learn in session to good use as a couple. We will strategize in session, looking at what could get in the way of your effectiveness out of session.
It is common to idealize romantic relationships, to seek a sort of healing or answer in finding the "right person" or "soul mate" who can make it all ok. In the absence of this, most of us tend to suffer, either through comparisons to others relationships or self-judgment about the way our relationship "should" be, but is not. While it's true that relationships are essential to our lives, the pursuit of one as the missing piece that will bring completion or wholeness can be a recipe for confusion, longing, and pain.
With couples or in relationship therapy in general, I aim to help you discover and understand the patterns that bring you and your significant other into therapy, and to create strategies for self-regulation, tolerance, and change that suits you both, and deepens both your sense of shared values and goals, intimacy, playfulness, safety, as well as your sexual connection.
My goal is to help you express the kind of love that you both feel fulfilled within, individually and together; how to actively love, and be the person you would want to be in relationship with.
Applying the skills of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, combined with insight from a psychodynamic, relational approach, my hope is to help you not only understand your relational patterns, but to learn to express your needs, show vulnerability when it's difficult to do so, and feel good about how you participate in your relationship.